MASSIVE problem

I am such an idiot of mammoth proportions , I actually shock myself sometimes with my own stupidity...
This could only happen to me! I hadn't changed my new email address on my paypal account to be my primary email address, So I sign into Facebook....and I have a friend request from nice tame first customer I freaked and got my friend 'Ms Lopez-Whittle' (sorry another false identity!) to pay me some money into my paypal account immediately to see what her invoice says....Luckily no home address just real name and my email address, I'm not worried about anyone finding me by my real name It is hugely popular for the year I was born and there were 2 other people in my school with the same first and last name as me (I'm not Jane smith...but close enough) and to be honest people knowing my personal email isn't ideal but also it is not the end of the world However I freaked for obvious reasons when I thought that he had my home address on the payment confirmation/invoice email, Luckily my FB page is private so he could not see anything and I blocked him straight away and change my pic to a cartoon character, I then returned to paypal and changed my primary email and again got Ms Lopez - Whittle to send me some funds, this time it only had my new alter egos email address on it and my real name...THANK GOD!

My first customer!

OMG I did it! I dont believe I did it but I did!
A guy signed in and then started up the convo, after last night I was abit disheartened and I had started to think I should have used an agency afterall, But this guy wanted a normal chat then asked how much I charge and how long he got on cam, I told him and he said fine I will pay now...I was so nervous but tried not to show it, He did not ask for any 'special services' and was very happy with some tame stuff.
He was done within 13 minutes (I do a 20 minute slot) I was on a massive adrenaline rush after! I dont believe It. I feel elated - its so much easier than I expected, I feel alittle sick with worry at the thought of my parents and friends reaction - they have no reason to find out but Im sure at some point they will. Ironically I am quite enjoying the compliments and banter that I get in the chat, I know its meaningless but as a single girl its always nice to hear good things about your self....

So I psyched myself up for it being the first day, I went on cam, I signed into my Alter ego's MSN, I had groomed myself extra carefully I Have over 200 people on my friends list in less than 72 hours with me being online maybe 4 hours max, I had lots of suggestion and lots of compliments but equally alot of rejection....well to be honest a whole evening of rejection ...no one wanted me :( I'm beginning to think I would be better off with an agent at least I wouldn't have to go searching for them they would come to me so Its guaranteed money. Anyway I'm signing out all disgruntled and feeling neglected and will let you know if I decide to have ago again another time?

Tonights the night.

OK my rent is due Friday I have no food in and no money and I'm still £170 short. I went back into the account I had set up and in major trepidation pressed the 'broadcast button' This prompted a huge response That even I could not fathom, I had an instant gag (Like what I did there?) of people - I say 'people' because it is the Internet right? And I have to be open minded about the 'people' I may attract whilst doing my thang.

I then anxiously signed into Messenger with my new details to a barrage of contact requests, I had 58 'people' add me in 12 minutes it was intense and scary but equally exciting, I say this knowing that all of the new friendly 'people' did have ulterior motives - which was to get me to take my grotty pyjamas off - the thing I have failed to mention to you dear readers was that I actually signed in with my pyjamas on and no make up with my hair scragged back.
The genius thing was these men were all so desperate they saw beyond that! I had the cam showing my face and nothing else and the side panel which allows comments was going crazy with men suggesting things I could do to 'relief' them, I stayed on the cam just pouting and smiling innocently (and no sound) Pump Boy had said to me not to show anything off on the broadcasting site (meaning to keep ones raspberry ripples to ones self and everything below off limits too) and to entice them with suggestion so that they are not getting anything for free.
I was trying to keep up with comments on both the broadcasting site and MSN, I Managed to respond to a few with suggestive comments but nothing overtly sexual. I updated my MSN comment to say 'log back in at 8pm tonight'....Oh dear looks like tonight's the night, I'm soooooooo scared, better go groom myself!

A step in the right direction?

Tonight I was chatting to My friend on MSN, (I should really give him a pseudonym as He will probably appear on here regularly and I don't want to 'out' him as a major pervert If I use his real name!)
So I was chatting to PUMP BOY on MSN and he was sending me links to some quite offbeat and random sexual cams from a site he frequents - to be fair to him he was forwarding it on in a comedy fashion as some of the videos were just too random. The Name PUMP BOY comes from one of the videos he sent me - Too grossssss!
I confided in him that I was considering becoming a web model and he said It would be a better idea to do it myself rather than go through an agency as I would have more control and earn more money as I would not have to forward a percentage on to the agent.
I created myself a new persona and used a new email address and name to start an account. I then joined the cam streaming website he frequents and put some pics of me on there I purposely used suggestive photos but none were naked, I mean I dont want to scare them off with my stretch marks before they even see me properly!
Its getting late so I am going to shut the computer down and I will decide If I am going to do anything with it later on! Oh this is becoming tooooo real.